can't tell if I sound more like Macy Gray or Tom Waits

Seriously, when in the last week did I apparently swallow a cheese grater and the contents of several ashtrays? Was it a drunk dare? I bet it was a drunk dare. In fact, I remember my sickness was almost better, then I drank a bunch of beer, and there must have been some sort of extreme beer-induced metamorphosis in the virus, because the next morning I woke up and thought "this must be what emphysema is like". Not fair, I don't smoke. NOT FAIR.

You'd think with all the fancy technology these days, people could make cough syrup that doesn't taste like shit. But isn't so delicious that it makes things easier for DXM junkies. So like, maybe after the specified dose has been ingested, it suddenly tastes like poopie for 4-6 hours until you can have more. If people can make "grāpple"s, we should be able to make cough syrup tasty in moderation.

I kind of thought I would be better by now. My immune system has been in the shits since Brazil for some reason, but still, I was optimistic about improving more quickly than this. Me! Optimistic! I KNOW RIGHT

I had a pretty cool, non-treacherous sick dream last night, though. It was epic and involved lots of travel in a place that was both Brazil and Thailand at the same time (but not really at all like either of them), and the coolest part was when there was this giant magical squid (it didn't really look like a squid though) attacking the city and I defeated it with a giant jade (it looked like green fire opal, but it was jade) and golden sword. Then it turned into a tiny opalescens, and I carried it with me back to my houseboat, and I for some reason had to cut it up and cook it, but I didn't know how, and it was a very stressful and emotional time for me. As I worried more, I began noticing more tentacles in all these random places, and I cut off more and more weird things that looked like they shouldn't be eaten, but really squids as a whole look like they shouldn't be eaten, and eventually I broke down and said "fuck it, someone who isn't a vegetarian can do this". ...So that last part wasn't so cool, I guess, but the battle was. Also, throughout the dream I was consuming chocolate goodies, and I could actually TASTE AND ENJOY THEM. Normally in dreams involving deliciousness, I dream of the ordeal involved in obtaining the delicious items, and when the time nears to consume, I am lucky if I get one hint of a taste before my dream dissolves and I wake up very, very unsatisfied.

And that's all. Yep. When you ever hear (/read) about someone's "awesome dream", are you ever left feeling like "hey, that was a really good way to spend my time, and was totally worth it"? Do people even pay attention to them anymore? I think most peoples' brains have picked up on the key words "weird/cool/awesome dream" and immediately tune out the remainder of the story, even if they try to pay attention. Even reading back on what I just wrote, I feel a little sorry for whoever may stumble across it and foolishly read it, hoping it leads somewhere interesting. That's the thing, though: No one reads this. Not that it's secret, but I'm not really spreading the word since it's boring. It's public just in case someone finds it and decides they really want to read some boring pessimistic rambles. The things people are into these days, especially on the internet ... you never know, someone could be getting off on it right now. In fact, I'm sure of it. If even just one person is reading this, I am sure that person is getting off on this drivel. So I'm doing you a favor, you sicko.

And with that thought, goodnight. And have fun, I guess.